All CrossFitters are Douchebags

By: Dave Leave a Comment


Yup you read that right. 

If you CrossFit, you are a douchebag..

Think about it…we’re concerned about appearances (“Do I really make that face when I snatch??”)

We HAVE to have the right accessories for the occasion (“Hold on, I gotta get my wrist wraps out of my car…”)

We compare ourselves to others (“I wish I could jerk as much weight as Camille.”)

And we are a little bit elitist (“I can’t believe my cousin is doing P90X…he’s never gonna get a good workout in with that.”)

The good news is that MOST of us are NICE douchebags…meaning that we only act like that around other CrossFitters…not the general public. 

We understand each other and know that when we say those douchebaggish things, it’s in the right context. 

The flip side is that there are a few CrossFitters who are LEGIT douches. These guys and gals make other CrossFitters cringe when we hear stories of them or see them in action. 

For example, I heard a story of a couple people who dropped in at a CrossFit gym recently and there was no sense of being welcomed. No community…not even a “hey, what brings you into town?”

Pretty douchebaggish, huh?

How about gyms that don’t give a crap about standards or range of motion? You’ll see lots of “bro-reps” and maybe even some miscounted reps (“Was that 20 double unders or 30??? Oh well, that felt like 40…so I’m done..”)

Yup, Grade-A douche material there. 

And here’s the worst evidence of CrossFit douchebaggery: Not giving a damn about your athlete’s health and well-being.

Doing things like MAKING someone lift a weight they have NO business lifting, not taking the time to make sure you instruct movements before EVERY workout (no…assuming someone finished Fundamentals/Foundations/On Ramp and has Matrix-like knowledge of Oly lifts doesn’t count…AT ALL)…and also just being a “clock monkey” where they set up the clock to run and crank up the tunes…no coaching being done = DOUCHE. 

Luckily here at CrossFit Lakás we ensure only GOOD CrossFit douches are hanging out. The bad douches can go somewhere else and pop their collars and share spray tan bottles with each other. =)

What other douchy behaviors can you think of?

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